G.I.R.’s Bestest Friend!
by Devoted Dib Fan
Summary: Things go weird when Zim goes to skool, and Dib is late for skool. G.I.R. decides to leave the house on his own... With an odd ending! My first IZ fic. Don't hurt meee!


**G.I.R.'s Bestest Friend!**

            "WHEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOO!!" cried a very hyperactive robot, "SCARY MONKEY SHOW'S ON!!!"

            His master, an Irken Invader named Zim, looked at the television, disgusted, "That monkey..." 

            "Scary Monkey! Scary Monkey!! Yay!" said the robot as he watched as the monkey was shown, growling at the screen, "WHEHEE!!"

            Zim turned off the accursed TV and said to G.I.R, "I am going to skool.  You stay here and guard the base."

            "Aaaw… I wanted to watch the Scary Monkey show!" cried G.I.R.

            "GIR! Do as I say.  I'll be back soon," commanded Zim.

            G.I.R.'s blue green eyes turned to a crimson red as he saluted Zim, "Yes, master! I obey!"

            As soon as Zim left, G.I.R.'s eyes turned form red back to green as he sat down again to watch the Scary Monkey show.  He squealed with delight.

            The time was 8:29.  The Scary Monkey show went off and G.I.R. became bored.  Well, as bored as one could imagine such an overexcited android.  He took a peek outside the door, looking at the neighborhood.  Not remembering what his master said about leaving the house, he ran out the door and on to the street, screaming with joy.

Zim watched as the clock struck 8:30 and the bell rang for Skool to start.  Something was out of place though… The Dib human was not to be seen.

"Ok, class.  Today we are going to learn about black holes and how they suck up unsuspecting planets, leading to their doom," Ms. Bitters said.

"AHHH!! I'm late!"

A boy with odd black hair and glasses and a spiffy cape ran towards skool.  It was Dib, and he was late for class.  He looked at his watch, frowning.

"8:45?!  Ms. Bitters is gonna kill me!" he said, but then his tone changed, "How knows what Zim could do behind my bac-"

Without looking in front of him, Dib ran into something and was knocked over.  His glasses were knocked off his face.

While searching for his glasses, he began to apologize, "I'm sorry for-"

He stopped and put on his glasses to see whom he bumped into.  To his shock he saw a familiar little robot.  It was Zim's G.I.R.  It had to have been!  G.I.R. appeared to be off line.  Dib became filled with rage.  If G.I.R. was here, that means Zim has to be close by!  The robot's eyes lit up and it sat up.  It blinked at Dib.

"HIII!!!" it said happily.

Dib stared at G.I.R.  It seemed… stupid…

"WHATCHA DOIN?!" it asked loudly.

… So incredibly stupid.  Dib shook himself back to reality.  G.I.R. had latched on to his leg.

"I like you~" said G.I.R.

"Wa… WA?!" screamed Dib in shock.  Was this Zim's idea of a joke?

"Let's make biscuits!" said G.I.R. in a high-pitched voice.

"Huh?"

"Let's make biscuits," it said in a different voice.

Dib screamed. That robot was insane.

Hours passed.  G.I.R had somehow managed to get on Dibs head and messed with his hair and eyelids.  Dib struggled in vain to get him out of his hair, literally.

"What are these?" asked G.I.R. as he played with Dib's eyelids.

"My eye! What are you doing… with… my… EYE!" yelled Dib.  He gave one tough pull and he finally got G.I.R. off his head.  Dib threw G.I.R. on the ground and began to walk away.  G.I.R. followed him.  Dib looked at G.I.R. angrily, G.I.R. simply waved at him and smiled.

"Why… Why are you following me?" demanded Dib.

"I DON'T know~' replied G.I.R.

Dib sighed.  He brightened when he came up with a plan. He would get rid of G.I.R. by giving it back to Zim.  Surely such an annoyance couldn't be of any help to Zim's mission!  In fact, it would probably botch it up!

"Ok, G.I.R!  You are going home," said Dib.

"Aaaw…" said the disappointed robot.

Dib stared at him blankly, "That's _good_."

"Oh.  YAY!!" cried G.I.R.

Dib suddenly realized something important.  He had no idea where they were.  Dib screamed.  G.I.R. screamed too, but only because it's insane.

"Alright," said Dib mostly to himself, "We have to stay calm. Ok?"

There wasn't too much of a response from G.I.R.  It was just playing with its head.

"WE'RE DOOMED!" cried Dib.

"Yay!" rejoiced G.I.R.

"That's BAD you twit!"

"Oh. Okay!" paused G.I.R, "I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doom, doom, doom~"

"NOOOOO!!" cried Dib.

"G.I.R, I'm home from- No! He left the door open again!" cried Zim, "G.I.R!  G.I.R?"

There was no answer.

"I guess, I should look for him," said Zim, walking out the door, cautiously.

Dib screamed with panic.  G.I.R. screamed too, only because it's insane.  Dib stopped, G.I.R. continued.

"Hey, I think that if-" Dib began, but G.I.R. wasn't even listening, just screaming, "HEY, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

G.I.R. blinked and shrugged and screamed some more.

"Ok, maybe if we found your… home base thing, we could find my way back to MY house!" said Dib.

G.I.R. ran around screaming with laughter.

"…"

"What about the guide chippy thingy?" asked G.I.R.

"What guide chip thing?" asked Dib, obviously annoyed.

"The one that's in my head! It lets me see stuff!" said G.I.R.

"You mean to tell me you had that all this time?" asked Dib.

G.I.R. nodded happily.

"You jerk…" sighed Dib, "Ok, find the way to my house, G.I.R."

G.I.R.'s eyes turned red and he pointed to a northeastern direction.

"Ok, Good! Do you have any ways of transport to get there?"

"Yup!" said G.I.R.  It urged Dib to get on it's back and… It blasted off like a jet, through the trees, under the earth… in the sewers and they got to Dib's house in seconds.

"YES! I'm home!" rejoiced Dib.  He began to walk inside, but was surprised when G.I.R. followed him, "Err… Why are you stalking me? Go home!"

G.I.R. blinked, "My piggy!"

"Wa…?" Dib was confused, but suddenly he got an evil idea.  He would send G.I.R. to the Mysterious Mysteries studio as proof that aliens _do_ exist.  His eyes glared with an evil darkness, "Hey, G.I.R, you should come inside my house!"

G.I.R. jumped up and down, "YAAY! OK!"

Dib grinned and lead G.I.R. into his house, shutting the door.

"Gaz! Look! It's an alien android!!" cried Dib.

Gaz didn't even look up from her game, "If you dare disturb me while I play my Game Slave, you shall pay with your sanity."

Dib blinked at his sister, and ran to his dad's lab.  For one reason or another, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.  Then he noticed: Neither was G.I.R.  So Dib did the only reasonable thing: Panic.

"GAH! Come back!" yelled Dib, "MY PROOF!!!"

"EHEHEHE!!" cried G.I.R. with glee.  It was playing with Dib's dad's machines, "What' dis' DO?!"

"NO! Don't touch that!" cried Dib, "He hasn't worked out all the bugs of-"

It was too late.  G.I.R. had somehow activated the machine and it began to smoke until it, literally, blew up, knocking both Dib and G.I.R. to either sides of the room.  Both of them blacked out.

G.I.R. was off-line and Dib had not yet gained conscious.

Professor Membrane and Gaz entered the room, shocked at the huge mess.  Then, they saw Dib and G.I.R.

Membrane shook Dib back into consciousness, "Son, wake up! Son!"

"… Wa…" said Dib.

"Hey, Dad, what's this thing?" said Gaz holding up G.I.R.

G.I.R. suddenly came back on line, but something was different.  He sounded different.

"What? Hey! That's my body!" said G.I.R. pointing at Dib. It was obvious that somehow the blast had made Dib and G.I.R. switch bodies, "Give it back!"

"Son, do you know what that is?" asked Membrane.

"WHAT?! I'M DIB! DIB!!!" Dib cried.

G.I.R. looked at Dib and said his infamous line, "I DON'T know!"

Just like that, Dib was _thrown_ out of his own house.  Dib examined himself.  All of a sudden, he snapped and talked like a mad man:

"Hey… What if I AM G.I.R?  YES!  That has to be it!  I REALLY AM G.I.R. YEEEEHOOOOO!!! I'm running!!! I'M RUUUNNING!!! WHEEE!" cried Dib and from out of nowhere, he was hit with a rubber piggy.  Causing him to go off-line.

Not too long afterwards, Zim, who had been searching for G.I.R. for hours, came.  He came to a conclusion that Dib must have done something terrible to G.I.R. to cause him to go off-line.  He hissed at the house and picked up his robot, not knowing its real identity.

Zim said angrily, "Mark my words, Dib-human: Vengeance SHALL be mine."

Meanwhile, inside the house, G.I.R. played around with his head and watched the scary monkey show.  No one there really cared. O_o;

O__o  The End… Or IS it…?  o__O

Dib Fan's note: Don't hurt me if this confuses you. It confused me too.  I don't take sides.  Neither side actually won.


End file.
